The Quest for Earrings
by The Obsidian Angel
Summary: Serena's 17th birthday has come and she's decided to become a Dark Goddess. Until the Atrox ordered her and Stanton to steal Britany Speers (spelling is intentional) earrings. Can the lovers manage or will they finally kill eachother in their quest?
1. Prologue

Long ago, before humanity even dared to walk the Earth, there were a pair of gold and silver spiraled earrings. These particular earrings were not just _any_ earrings. Oh no. These earrings belonged to a very special person, or should we say force? The Atrox. In these earrings, the Atrox possessed an incredible magic. Perhaps this is the reason for its vast power. It is the question of the ages: Which came first: The Atrox or the earring? Anywho, one day when the Atrox was trying on his ever nefarious earrings, his lover, Priscilla, walked in.

"Can I?! Can I?! Can I?!" She begged. Yes, people. Some things never get old. And of course he let her, seeing that he was a nice, kind old, wicked beyond belief, supernatural force of malevolent evil. His queen thought that they were like, so cool and she had to like show them to her friends so they would get all like uber jealous. So she did. Of course, being the green-eyed moon goddess that she was, Selene became jealous and immediately tried to attain the earrings. Caught by surprise, Priscilla fought for the earrings but after a matter of time Selene finally triumphed. Proud with her satisfactory, Selene made her way back to the moon where a moon rock suddenly fell on her head causing her to drop the newly acquired earrings to the planet Earth. To make matters worse, her lover Endymion refused to return them due to the rumors of her sleeping with Zeus. Damn man whore…

Anywho, when the Atrox received note of this, he immediately banished his careless wife to the dark side of Pluto, where it is rumored that she froze to death. The truth however, nobody knows.

His power deeply tarnished and his earrings gone, he made a vow that he would get them back someday, somehow. He also had to stop rhyming… Then, deciding that he was through with _real_ immortal women, he commenced to create his own lover to carry on his heir. But that's another story. ; - )


	2. See, What Had Happened Was

"Well", Serena gulped. "Here goes".

Stanton just rolled his eyes. "You've been saying that for the past three hours. Will you just do it already?" They were both outside in the freezing chill of New York City. That's where Catty's mother had decided to take them for Serena's birthday and therefore, Serena had made the decision to tell them what choice she was going to make, and seeing that it wasn't in their favor, she was afraid. Very afraid.

"Hey! Hold your horses, alright? I'm trying". Again, she sat staring at the door for a good fifteen minutes. "Well…"

"Here goes", Stanton repeated with her and to her surprise, he rung the doorbell. And before Serena could turn to scowl at him, the door flew open.

"Serena!" Jimena exclaimed, her voice joyful. She then turned to Stanton, a dull look covering her features. "Stanton."

"Nice to see you too, Jimena". He grinned cynically.

"Come in". She motioned for them to enter despite their refusal. When they didn't move, she ran around them and effortlessly pushed them into the room. There were Catty and Vanessa who was listening to a demo tape of Michael's.

"Um…" Serena mumbled. She was sure that she was sweating beads now.

"Let me do it" Stanton chided her.

She shook her head. "I don't think so". She knew they would take it hard if she was to reveal her decision. She couldn't imagine how they would take it if they heard it from Stanton.

"I… ah…"

"Yeah?" They all egged her on.

"Serena?" Jimena asked, concerned.

"See… what had happened was…"

"Uh huh?" Catty asked, getting impatient.

"We um… We… BOUGHT HOT DOGS!"

"KA- HOOOL!" They all exclaimed and jumped from their places on the ground. Stanton just slapped a hand to his forehead and stopped Serena before she could pull a leftover hot dog bag from her purse.

"Will you just _tell_ them?!"

"Fine", she sighed. "I… er… we… he…"

"Serena!" Jimena scolded her.

"I'mgonnabecomeadarkgoddessandgowithStanton!"

"Come again?" Vanessa asked, confused.

Serena's eyes burned. "How many times do I have to tell you?!"

"You only told them once", Stanton corrected her.

"Who are you, my English teacher?!" She roared. "I'VE MADE MY CHOICE! I WANT TO BE A GODDESS! A DARK GODDESS! HAPPY?!"

They paused for awhile. Jimena finally spoke up. "No. Are you saying you want to join the Atrox?"

"No", Serena laughed nervously, back to her normal self. "I'll just be with Stanton… and the rest of the Followers… and Nefandus… and on missions… free chicken… you know stuff like tha-"

"Serena, that's joining the Atrox!"

"It is?!" She raised an eyebrow as if she didn't know. "Well see… what had happened was..."

"Will you stop saying that?!"

"Do I have your permission or not?" Serena asked Jimena. She wouldn't have had this much trouble with Maggie…

"Sure, but-"

"Thanks! Gotta go!"

"Serena! Wait!"

"I'll come back and visit! Until then, take this to remember me by!" And with that she flung the bag of half eaten hotdogs at them. Then running from the house, Stanton dissolved them both into shadow and they went hovering above the busy streets of New York City.


	3. Chillin at the Holiday Inn

"I love you", Serena spouted out from her place with Stanton on the Holiday Inn floor. His landlord had banned him from the castle he had rented out and they had to reside in the hotel just down the street. She didn't even know that they had Holiday Inns in Nefandus.

"I love you too"

"I love you more"

"No!" Stanton was getting agitated. "I love _you_ more"

"No, me!"

"I love you infinity!"

"You're not playing fair!"

"Fine"

"_Fine_!"

They both went and sulked in the opposite corners of the room, but not after tripping over the cloth they had been wrapped up in and falling on their faces. Serena sighed. This was _not_ turning out the way she expected. She turned to him. "I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry too"

"I'm more sorry"

"No! I am!"

"I'm sorry infinity!'

"I KNOW YOU ARE!"

"Fine"

"_Fine_!"

They sat in complete silence for a while.

"…… I'm ordering Chinese"

"You do that".

Serena groaned and walked off towards the phone before realizing that she didn't know of any Chinese food places in Nefandus. "Um… Stanton?"

Suddenly, the bell rung. "I'll get it!" she groaned, glad to have company. She opened the door to reveal a cloud of darkness hovering over the welcome mat that she had purchased at Target.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed before running to Stanton. "There's a… there's a…"

"What?" he asked.

"A m- monster"

"Don't tell me you're delusional too", he gave his trademark cynical smirk before pushing pass her and heading for the door. "Your majesty", he gasped when he got there.

The Atrox took a thunderous breath, flashed it's ever glowing eyes of evil and took a seat beside the trembling Serena on a cushion. "Whatcha doin?"

"Nothin. Chillin at the Holiday Inn" Stanton shrugged. "Is there something you need?"

"Yes", he grinned malignantly. "I have a mission for you".

Serena's eyes grew worried. She was just supposed to be hanging out with the Atrox. She wasn't really supposed to go on missions. "What kind of mission?" She asked.

"I have finally sited the location… of the earrings! Mwahahahahahahahaha!"

They both stared at the blob of darkness like it was crazy. Stanton eventually spoke up.

"My Lord, are you sure that you know what your-"

"Are you questioning me?!"

"No, but-"

"Britany Speers has my earrings!"

"WHAT?!" The lovers cried in unison.

"Yes, and I want you two to return them to me"

"But-"

"No buts! Now I want those earrings in my hand by next week. Is that understood?!"

"Wait!" Serena interrupted, realizing something. "We don't know what they look like".

The Atrox's eyes lit up. "They are soooooo KA HUUUUUTE!" Serena stared in disbelief as the Atrox went on about the earrings: Size, shape, color, and how they fit its ears "just right". When it had finally calmed down about the earrings, they offered it some leftover hotdogs and it ended up taking the entire bag.

"Well?" Stanton asked with a smirk. "Where do we find our pop diva?"

"I don't know", she shrugged. "I don't even listen to country music".

"Pop music"

"Isn't that what I said?"

"Well, there's only one place we can look". And with that, our villains headed off to the local Atrox- Mart.


	4. The Quest Begins!

Stanton rolled his eyes as Serena almost fell from the check out counter that she was sitting on, cracking up at an Archie Comic book.

"Serena", he begged her. "We're supposed to be here on business".

Serena hesitated to glance at him before going back to her comic book. The love triangle between Archie, Veronica, and Betty was _way_ more interesting than poaching a world renowned singer's evil earrings. Stanton just shook his head and continued to browse through the many articles in YM and Seventeen magazines. Serena cocked an eyebrow suspiciously when he would stop and giggle at the photos of Aston Cutcher. She worried about him sometimes... After a few minutes had passed and various high pitched giggles, Stanton shut the magazine that he was reading close, his eyes shining.

"She's in Miami, shooting for her new movie".

"Horse Loads?"

"Cross Roads"

Serena gasped. "No!"

"Oh, yes!" Stanton exclaimed, his eyes wide and fearful. "Number two!"

"Noooooo!" Serena cried.

"Serena". They groaned when they saw who was racing towards them. "You can't do this!"

"And why not?" Stanton challenged.

"Because you gave us leftover hot dogs!" Catty whined. "And plus you can't hurt Britany Speers!"

"Give me one good reason why not"

"Because um… because er…" The girls sat confused for like three minutes straight. Then just before Stanton could go off looking for the first season of Punk' D and that 70's Show, Vanessa spoke up.

"She was in Cross Roads".

"I hated Cross Roads", Jimena admitted.

"So did I", Catty sighed.

"You know what?" asked Vanessa. "I never wanna see that chick again".

"Serena". They all turned to the former daughter. "We're counting on you!"

"But-" Serena started to complain.

"Come on", Stanton dragged her out the other way.

"Go, Serena!"

"But-"

"Don't let us down!"

"Kill that bitch _good_!"

"But", Serena groaned as Stanton guided her from the building. "I didn't even get to finish my book…"

* * *

Serena threw a couple of airline peanuts in her mouth before turning to stare out of the airplane window as they departed from L. A. Sighing, she turned to Stanton who was eying her now, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Serena", he started. "I think it's time to take our relationship to the next level". He grinned and pointed to the empty bathroom in the back of the plane.

"Gross!" A little girl with pigtails gagged.

"Appalling", an older woman gasped.

"Overused movie cliché!" Serena glared at him. "And how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not sleeping with you".

Stanton pouted. That was the only line that he hadn't tried yet… He sighed and picked up his 'Pickup Line' book. Maybe he should start from the beginning now. "What's _your_ sign?" he asked with a killer smile.

She groaned and opened her duffel bag. Pulling out a head set, she turned it on to reveal what sounded like an explosion. Stanton cocked an eyebrow as Serena started to bang her head as far as her neck would take it. His eyes widened as she knocked down a cup and bent the older woman's seat forward.

"I don't know her", he laughed nervously as a growing amount of passengers glowered down on him. Finally a stewardess confronted them.

"Sir, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to move to the back of the plane".

"But-"

"Sir, please"

Muttering something about racism, Stanton rose from his seat and took Serena, who had just banged her head against the window and was glancing around confused, by the hand and led her through the aisle. When they had passed a few rows or so, they stopped. A few passengers who had watched their little episode cursed at their presence. Stanton, however, didn't care. He scowled as Serena made her way pass him. If she wouldn't give it up, the least she could do was let him have the window seat. Groaning, he plopped down on the aisle seat, only to jump back up, nearly slamming into the ceiling. Serena gawked at him as he grasped as much of his ass as he could manage.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He screamed in pain. "A TACK!" He stared as a contagious spread of horrified expressions began.

"ATTACK!" A woman screamed. "We're under attack!"

Various passengers began to holler similar things. Finally a calm assistant pilot made his way down the aisle. "Everyone calm down!" He cried to get everyone's attention. "Now who's attacking?"

"Yeah", Stanton agreed, eager to blast whoever would dare to terrorize a plane with him on it. He gulped when they all pointed at him. "Wait! This is some misunderstanding!" He tried to explain. Ready to toy with their minds, he gathered his energy. That is until Serena's head caught him in the side, knocking them both unconscious. Watching as a few security guards rushed in, he slipped into darkness.

* * *

"This is all your fault", he complained, rubbing at his side. "If you weren't so hard headed-"

"My fault?!" She exclaimed. "If you weren't such a baby-"

"Don't try to pin this on me!"

"I'm not trying to pin anything on you!" She roared. "You'd probably just cry again!"

"I wasn't crying!"

"Was to!"

"Alright", he heaved. "All differences aside, let's look at the situation here. We're in Chicago".

"It's freezing"

"We have no method of transportation but shadow"

"It's freezing"

"We have no money"

"It's freezing"

"And you're hard headed"

"It's- HEY!"

"Okay, I'll stop". He wrapped his arms around her to keep her from freezing. "But you know what we have to do".

"Get some more hotdogs?"

"No", he shook his head. "We'll have to take the train".

"I hate trains", she complained. "I wanna take the bus".

"Train"

"Bus"

"Train"

"BUS!"

"Bus"

"TRAIN… doh!"

Stanton laughed and with that, they started off towards the nearest train… wherever that may have been.


	5. The Loooove Train

Stanton groaned of boredom as he rose from his place on the rock solid train bench. He had just finished all five Harry Potter books… for the tenth time and he couldn't find his lover anywhere. Sighing, he munched on an eight month stale animal cracker and started to think. A dangerous pastime, yes, but there wasn't much else to do. Stanton thought about a lot of things. Rainbows and lions and monkeys and bikes. Aston and candy and castles and kites. He grinned a little at his rhyme. Suddenly, a dangerous query came to mind, the ever notorious "What if?" What if the Earth was flat? What if he was a brunette? What if he stuck his arm out of the train window while under the tunnel? His grin widened. Yes! That seemed like an excellent idea. He would do it. Pressing his palms against the window panes, he lifted the glass up. His arm slowly protruded from the window and in no less than a matter of seconds, a sharp pain sliced through it. Then before he could pull it back, a splash of water rained over his shoulder. It finally bashed into something soft and he could almost make out a small "ouch!". Of course, he couldn't have been sure because all the while he was screaming, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Finally he thrust his bruised arm back through the window where he cried and fussed over it until a conductor confronted him.

"What possessed you to stick your hand out of that window, son?"

Stanton grimaced and muttered, "Thinking".

"A dangerous pastime"

"I know… where's Serena?"

"Serena?"

"Red head. Green eyes. Dressed kind of weird?"

"Oh", the man laughed mirthfully. "Her! She's driving."

Stanton laughed with him. "You're kidding right?"

The man shook his head. "No, I just turned it over to her".

Stanton took the man by the collar. "Do you realize the significance of what you've just done?!"

The man laughed and shook his head like the retard that he was. Sighing, Stanton shook his head. No wonder heavy metal had been playing on the train radio for the past thirty minutes. Sure enough, the train crashed into something and abruptly stopped.

"IT'S GONNA BLOW!" Stanton shouted, diving in and out between old ladies and other people. And after a few minutes, it did, blowing the seat of Stanton's jeans and underwear right off. Stanton's eyes widened as he commenced to cover up his jiggly ass.

"Choooo chooooooo!" Serena grinned and skipped towards him, a less than contagious smile on her features, seeing that everyone was quite devastated that their luggage had been destroyed.

"Serena, are you crazy?!"

She only beamed. "Look at it this way! We made it! We're in Hollywood!"

He turned to take in the grand sight before him. "Hollywooood!", he murmured before using his brains. "Serena…"

"Yes?"

"We're back where we started…"

"Oh…"

He shook in anger, his fist trembling. Had she been anyone else, he surely would have strangled her. He blasted a few old ladies just to shake off his rage.

"So, what did we crash into?" They turned to the right. "Uh oh…"

The now burning, smoking train had torn straight through a small, modest two- flat apartment, namely Jimena's new house. They gulped as Jimena came tearing out from the garden.

"¡Cuál es éste?! ¿Es usted loco? ¡Cómo podría usted hacer esto a mí?! ¡Maldígale, Serena! ¡Maldígale al infierno!"

Serena had taken a Spanish for Dummies book from her purse and was now rapidly skimming the pages. After about three minutes, she looked up to Jimena, a scowl on her face. "That was so _mean_!"

Stanton took Serena by the shoulders. "Come on. Let's go. If we-" He cut the sentence off to stare at something in the distance.

"If we what?" Serena asked him. "What are you staring at?" Suddenly, she turned to her left and fast paced Latin music began to play from no where in particular. She watched as a young, brunette, no more than in his early twenties came strolling towards them in slow motion, sweat pouring from his exposed chest. Serena raised an eyebrow as he stumbled a little, obviously tired from walking so slowly. Finally, he made it to them and leaned against the burning train, somehow pushing it further into Jimena's house. She babbled more vulgar Spanish as it ran over her petunias.

"Who are you?" Serena inquired of the stranger.

He tilted his head a bit and gave a lopsided grin. "I'm Aston Cutcher, duuudes and I came to give you back your wallet!" He turned to Stanton who could only stare at him, bewildered.

"Googaburwisk Tonstan", Stanton muttered.

Serena furrowed her eyebrows suspiciously. "How did you end up with Stanton's wallet?"

Dababadoo", Stanton agreed. He also was curious as to why Aston was there.

"It was totally awesome, dudes! Remember when you stuck your hand out of the train window?!"

"Taco", Stanton nodded.

"Well, dude you totally hit me in the head!" He showed them a knot. "And you dropped your wallet".

"Faraji", Stanton finally understood. "Fababa Laba Cocatoo?"

"Wha?!"

"What he means to say is, how can he ever thank you?"

"Dude, you are most welcome, but I'll pass. I'm on my way back to Miami!"

"Woolie Boolie!"

"What?"

"I don't know", Serena sighed. "Never heard that one before".

"Woolie Boolie!!!"

"Woolie Boolie?!"

"WOOLIE BOOLIE! WOOLIE BOOLIE! _WOOLIE BOOLIE!"_

"HUH?!" They both rang.

"TAKE US WITH YOU!" Stanton finally broke his voice barrier and boomed as loud as he could.

Aston rocked back and forth for a moment. "Sure, dudes. Hop in!" he smiled and motioned toward a black jet.


End file.
